Posts Tagged “Fart Tax”

In an effort to reduce global emissions of methane gas, president elect Barack Hussein Obama, in collaboration with AL Gore and the makers of Depends Diapers will order all U.S. citizens to start wearing methane collecting diapers, or face a “fart tax” of 3 cents per fart. Shortly after the announcement fart aficionados took to the streets in protest.

“When you consider the most humans dispel on average a half a liter of gas day, or about 14 farts, the damage to the environment is tremendous. With over 305 million people living in the U.S., the effect to the ozone is practically immeasurable. Since Obama plans on joining the Kyoto Protocol, it’s the right thing to do”, stated Gore.

The new diapers, developed with a grant by George Soros will capture the dangerous nitrogen and methane gases using carbon filter technology developed by NASA. The diapers will also measure the number of farts emitted. Anyone emitting over 20 farts a day will be assessed an additional fee called the “Anus Overload Tax”. For those citizens that defer from the program, a fart tax of 3 cents per day x 14, (average number of farts) will be assessed, unless they have carbon credits to exchange for their fart overload.

As press time there was no word on an anticipated “burp tax”.

In other stupid tax news.

New York Mayor Bloomberg wants to nickel and dime you at the grocery store - taxing you an extra 5 cents for every plastic bag you take home.

The controversial charge could raise at least $16 million for the cash-strapped city while keeping tons of plastic out of landfills, city officials said Thursday - but some outraged shoppers aren’t buying it. More here.

Facial Hair Tax: Do you have a goatee? If so I suggest you stay out of the state of Massachusetts, which has a law on the books that makes it illegal to have a goatee without first purchasing a license to do so. A small fee must be paid in order to wear the facial hair in public, and one can be fined if a license is not presented to a law enforcement official upon request. No offense, but anyone that still has a goatee deserves to be taxed or possibly even arrested by the fashion police.

More stupid tax laws can be found here.

Have fun! - AWB