Archive for the “Holiday Stuff” Category

Santa Claus was quite the event as I grew up in our blue collar neighborhood in Detroit. My Dad had one of his construction co-worker pals come by the house dressed up as Santa, and he always had a few small trinkets or quarters for us. I don’t remember how old I was, but one day I realized that the guy wasn’t Santa Claus.

Some people kill the idea of Santa, telling their kids from the outset Santa is a load of bullshit. I find this sad. Kids fantasize a lot, and thinking there’s some jolly old fat guy with rosy cheeks that loves to give them toys is not a bad thing. For kids, fantasizing can be healthy. It helps them understand that dreams can come true.

I detest the fact the earlier this year in September, Meijer had the nerve to put out Christmas decorations in September. The commercialization of Christmas is appalling. What’s more shocking is many families get through the entire Christmas season without once mentioning the word Christ.

Back in the early 80’s I rented a Santa Claus suit on December 23rd from Stoners. I went to a small hardware store on Wells Street and bought about 200 small trinkets for 25-50 cents each. I spent the day visiting customers and handing out the trinkets and had quite a jolly time. At the end of the day as I was heading back home, (it was around 6:30 at night) I realized I still had around 100 of the toys left in my bag. As I passed the Santa display on the Fort Wayne National Bank building I saw maybe 20 or so cars with families looking up at the lights. There were plenty of kids in the parking lot, so I pulled in.

I went and stood under the Santa display with my red sack in hand, and naturally the kids started lining up and I started handing out cheap toys. It wasn’t long before I ran out of toys. By then, there were maybe 30 kids in line that didn’t get anything. So I told the kids and their parents not to fear, I had another stash not far away and would return shortly. I hopped into my sleigh, (a small off-purple Oldsmobile) and headed off to the Wells Street store. I cleaned out their entire small toy section and spent maybe $200 in the process. I even cleaned out a rubber ball display and had to put those in the trunk and back seat.

I returned to the bank and the line was still there. Parents came up to me and heaped praise on the bank for providing this service to their kids. Of course I told them the bank had nothing to do with it. They asked who did and I said is was simply me, spreading good cheer. When they asked my name I said, “Kris Kringle” and went back to handing out toys to the kids. Soon the line was gone, as it was getting late. I found it amazing that the last kid in line got the last toy in my bag. It was one of those small little Army guys with a parachute.

As I turned to go to my car I saw a woman with three kids running across the street. Shit, I thought, my bag’s empty. As she approached me, visibly out of breath, she explained that they had heard about what was going on at the store on Wells Street. She said they were not going to have a Christmas, that she didn’t have the money to provide one for her family. So there I was, empty bag in hand with a poor family that had just ran maybe a mile to see Santa.

I was at a loss as to what to do. I got down on one knee and I struggled to get through the Santa suit to my wallet. I pulled out four $20 dollar bills and handed one to each of them. I have no idea how they’d spend that money, I only hope it brightened their otherwise gloomy Christmas. They walked away into the darkness holding hands and crossed the street, while I walked away with tears running down my face to my car.

The following year I actually bought a Santa suit, beard, wig - the whole outfit. I still have it. I did not go back to Fort Wayne National Bank. Instead I visited the St. Joseph Hospital burn unit and handed out toys to the kids there. Then I was off to Parkview and handed out toys there. Then, off to a couple of nursing homes.

At one nursing home, which I think was in Bluffton, I actually had a few of them ask to sit on my lap. I had purchased gifts and wrapped them in blue and pink so I would know what to give a man or a woman. Some of them cried. After I left, I cried too.

Santa is not a person. Santa Claus is about the spirit of giving, just like Christ gave for us. Telling your kids that Santa is a lie, well, I guess it just means you’re a Scrooge. I believe in Santa because the spirit of giving lives in the heart of most people. That’s who Santa Claus is.

My Santa gig went on and off over the years until the Christmas of 1995. That year I made the front page of both the New York Times and the Journal Gazette. I’ll tell you about that in a later post.

Kris - a.k.a. AWB

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 01, 2008

RE: Gala Holiday Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 02, 2008

RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: October 03, 2008

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table …

You didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request , but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

=================================================================

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

DATE: October 04, 2008

RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh “low sugar” fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F#$&*ng Employees

DATE: October 05, 2008

RE: The F*%#ing Holiday Party

I’ve had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your fu&*^%g salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you fu@*&ng weirdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The BITCH from HELL!!!!!!!!

================================================================

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 06, 2008

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

There is no Santa, only greedy idiots like these.

The video below is graphic, in that it shows rescue workers attempting unsuccessfully to save the life of a Walmart worker trampled to death as greed-hungry shoppers stormed their way through the door of a Long Island New York Walmart.

Note: I had to remove the YouTube video. Apparently some sort of relatively aggressive virus is affecting certain embedded YouTube videos. Some are saying it affects IE and Firefox users, while others say it’s only going after IE. The virus is called Actns/Swif.T and seems to contain a redirect to a phishing website embedded within a SWF file.

The site apparently installs Antivirus 2009, which is malware. We’ll pull our most recent YouTube embeds, but be careful because this one appears to have just broken out today. If you find yourself being automatically redirected or experience other weird pop-ups, especially for something called Antivirus 2009, don’t click on anything.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Sheesh - AWB

H/T - Chick with a Glock

Wishing each of you a happy and prosperous new year. May you all find your true happiness and keep close to your heart the loved ones in your life who matter most.

Posted by Lucy

Arlington

A Soldier’s Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this little house lived.

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No Stockings by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sobering thought came through my mind.

For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
The home of a soldier, I could now see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
Not how I picture a United States Soldier.

Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realized the families that I saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world, the children would play,
and grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

I couldn’t help wondering how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.

The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to one knee and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
“Santa don’t cry, for this life is my choice”.

I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,
My life is my God, my country, my corps.”

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
as we both shivered from the cold night’s chill.

I didn’t want to leave, on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor, so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, “Carry on Santa…., It’s Christmas Day…., All is secure.

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend…. and to all a Good Night.

~ Author Unknown *~

Posted by Lucy

I say Bah! to all of that politically correct stuff. So from me and mine to you and yours, have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Posted by Lucy.