If you forward an email to a bunch of your friends, blah, blah, blah Bill Gates will send you money, right?

I’m sure you have all received one before. I just got my first in a long while, so I thought I would share with you what I send in reply. I originally sent this as a reply way back in 1998, so you’ll have to change the date from 2000 to something of your choosing. I’m not sure who the original author is.

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I am suffering from a rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send “his” email to $1000? How stupid are you?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit. So basically, this message is a big F YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

Fuck them.

If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to 50 of your closest friends,and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don’t care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it’s your own unpopularity

AWB

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 28th, 2008 at 4:09 pm and is filed under Just Funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.